sometimes I let my dog sleep on my bed and sometimes when I try to go to sleep i open my eyes and she’s just smiling at me like the biggest fuckin idiot, like I’m the best thing since sliced bread, and god I just really love my dog
once my sister got rejected for a job at a web design company that she really wanted to work for so that night she hacked into their website and redirected it to her blog and the next day the CEO called her and hired her on the spot so moral of the story: if at first you don’t succeed, hack their website and make them beg for mercy
i haven’t been to subway in 2 years cos the woman went “what bread do you want” and i went “yeah”
are there even any houses in the usa which touch each other???
like in britain some houses are terraced or semi-detached
but in america they’re like “dON’t tOUch mE!”
I HAVE ALWAYS WONDERED WHAT BRITISH NEIGHBORHOODS LOOKED LIKE. THANK YOU.
Isn’t that like a major fire code violation? Like if one house catches on fire, POOF there goes the whole fucking street up in flames.
we never learn